inhopeicry

other night.....i came to the beach alone. searching for some depth. for some answer or a reason.. i use to come here alot. playing my guitar. trying to faze out the world around me. trying to pretend the hurting doesnt hurt. and the feeling doesnt feel. that im much bigger than this. that theres nothing between us. that you keep pushing me out. while im holding on. shouldnt get anger, cuz you were never mine to begin with. i always think were going to meet one day. that maybe, we can make each other happy. and forget the lives we use to live. and just think about the new. learned long time ago, never to judge people for there past, cuz thats wat makes them who they are now. eventually becoming the person ill fall for. as i was sitting there, hearing the waters crash. and the winds blow.  made a wish on a star.  hoped for that answer i longed for.... cuz everything in the past, makes who we will become. and i hope i became a better person through this. that fate wont play a cruel joke on me. and ill figure things out eventually. maybe...

always

always means something close but never there, always reminds me of things that were never meant to be. always reminds me of the pain thats still there. always reminds me of the person i was.

dont understand some of you. people should stay away, instead of trying so hard to find out wats wrong. seems like, been getting myself into trouble more and more. and the  deeper i go, the harder it is to come out. dont u know how fucked up i am. hate emotions.  think if i didnt have a heart, life would be easier for all people. hope someday people would realize how much i  care about them. how much they mean to me....

sometimes u dont realized how fucked up everything is cuz u want to look in those rose color glasses. miss believing in someone. made all the pain and sadness just melt away like its not even there. even though things were hard, it seemed soo easy. never promised anything i couldnt keep. maybe believed in some, i shouldnt have. maybe its all my fault. see a new perspective into life. life is as short, as it allows u to live. u cant control it.  -thesideproject

tryingtofigureoutthedifferencebetweenthemoralitiesoftruthandthestupidityoflife

writing in secret is the way to go,  no one is reading this lame excuse for a pen and paper except for me and casper.

like any normal day, ran out in my awesome p.js and "saves the day" t-shirt. i know, how attractive. went to the supermarket to get some captain crunch and fruity pebbles for breakfest. cant wake up without that shit.  also some yummy whipped cream. haha yea i know wat ur thinking!! ^_^  but didnt realized how good it is, to wake up soo early and watch cartoons. its a thing of beauty. nevermind sleep conquers all.

As we walk our path of life, we meet people everyday. Most are simply met by chance, but some are sent our way. These become the special people whose bond we cant't explain. the ones who understand us and share our joy and pain. Their love contains no bounderies, so even when apart, their presence still embraces us with a warmth felt in the heart. This love becomes a passageway where even miles disappear. And so these friends life sends our way remain forever near. Is it by "chance" that I happened to meet u. maybe, but i'd like to think that finding a friend in you means more than chance. i hope you understand that you mean more to me that just "chance" you're one of those special people that only comes only once in awhile.  im sure ur never going to read this, but ur a big part in my life. u mean soo much more than ur ever know. people tell me i dont open up. maybe thats true. cuz maybe if i did, u would know how i feel about u. hoped, there was something i could do to cheer u up. maybe buy u some animal crackers, that always cheers me up for some reason. anyways i hope u and and ur "special someone" is good. u always deserved someone better. hope that person makes u happy.